The “Right Questions”?

If a definition of a writer is someone who writes, then I haven’t been a writer for over a month. That is true. The blog has been quiet for a while due to the preparation for my time off from work and yes, time for myself. If what we are doing in the present is what we are, then for the last month I’ve been Apinya’s lover.

I made a conscious choice to take off the month of June, to put myself as the first priority, something I seemed to have taken a pause from in the last few years. We make choices daily on how to take care of ourselves. That is true. From choosing to wake up in the morning, to how we’ll spend our days, what we’ll eat, who we’ll spend time with, how we love the people that we love. But consciously loving myself, posts a different set of questions beyond what do I want out of life or how would I like to spend the next few years. Beyond the questions of who do I want in my life and how do I choose to engage in those relationships in the most healthy and loving way.

It’s not comfortable putting myself first. At times it’s lonely and takes work, a practice.  But yes often times it’s fun and rewarding. I realize that the life that I live is due to my actions, the decisions that I make. The question is am I living the life of my dreams? And what does that extraordinary life that I wish for look like?

Sometimes we don’t get clear or right answers, because we haven’t asked the right questions. Debbie Ford, the author of The Right Questions poses ten “right questions” to help guide us to that big life we desire. When we honestly ask these questions, we begin to make new choices that will lead to new actions. I think unconsciously I’ve asked myself parts if not all of them from time to time. And they have led me to this crossroad in my life. The answers, when they arrive, reveal what I believe to be the roadmap to the next step of my journey.

Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future or will it keep me stuck in the past?

Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment or will it bring me short-term gratification?

Am I standing in my power or am I trying to please another?

Am I looking for what’s right or am I looking for what’s wrong?

Will this choice add to my life force or will it rob me of my energy?

Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve or will I use it to beat myself up?

Does this choice empower me or does it disempower me?

Is this an act of self-love or is it an act of self-sabotage?

Is this an act of faith or is it an act of fear?

Am I choosing from my divinity or am I choosing from my humanity?

The answers arrive when we ask the questions. But they come in parts and when we are ready to make the decisions. Recently I began dancing again, a different kind of dancing than what I’ve done in the past. This organic form of dancing has helped me connect to myself more holistically. It brings me back to my body, to embrace the emotions that arise, and to connect with mother earth and spirit. I am tasting what it’s like to dance with my soul.

Everyday is a dance. Every action is a dance. Yoga is a dance. It’s a practice. Dancing with oneself and spirit is a practice. Just like taking time to consciously ask these questions and patiently allowing the answers to emerge is a practice. To fully be someone else’s lover, one’s own lover is a dance, a practice, without which we cannot live the grand life of the heart.